There are A LOT OF PEOPLE who are in need of help with their sexless marriage. The research has indicated that as many as 17 million people in the United States alone are in a relationship where they have sex 10 times a year or less. That is A LOT OF PEOPLE who might well want help with a sexless marriage. Sexual desire is a very basic human need; it is integral to the perpetuation of our species. There aren’t nearly as many people who want help to pick out the right color of socks; the right color socks isn’t fundamental to the perpetuation of our species.
A healthy sexual relationship is very important to a healthy marriage. That isn’t to say that a healthy marriage must necessarily have healthy sex, but it is very important. People who want help with their sexless marriage are very often asking for help with something that is right at the center of their relationship.
There is no more common arena for working through control issues than the arena of sex. A search for help with their sexless marriage is often a cloaked way of searching for a solution to the control dramas that exist between a man and a woman. The more mature a relationship, the less often there are control dramas, and the less often there are struggles with their marriage.
We live in an age when most people expect to have a satisfying sexual relationship. It is a combination of factors that have created these shared expectations. The media has contributed, as has the changing status of women around the world. Everyone believes that they deserve to enjoy a life where they don’t need sex advice for their marriage.
Shame and guilt about sex are disappearing quickly. For some centuries, we civilized humans were encouraged to get our sexual desires under control; there was little room for impulsiveness. Today, we believe sex is normal, sexual desire is natural, and sexual expression is fun and playful. Our paradigm has shifted. If shame and guilt still hang around the area of sexuality, then we may want help with our sexless marriage so we can free ourselves.
We simply live in an age where we don’t have to put up with stuff that doesn’t work right. If your body is troubled, you go to the Doc and get a fix. If your money isn’t growing fast enough for you, you go to an Investment Counselor and get the ball rolling. If your computer isn’t working, you find a Technician to work some wonders. The point is, we have grown accustomed to finding a fix for most problems in life.
Getting help with a sexless marriage makes perfect sense in a world where there is help for almost anything! Men and women don’t know how to please each other very well at all. There simply has been too much focus on intercourse as a way of reaching mutual pleasure. It takes more than 20 minutes, on average, for a woman to become aroused to the point of orgasm. 75% of men don’t take 2 minutes, and not enough men and women have worked at mastering The Art of a 25-Minute Arousal.