Do you want to know how to spot the signs that tell you if your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating on you? Do you suspect that your husband or wife is having an affair?
Well, here are some tips and advice that will help you to find out if your husband, wife, girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating on you.
Recommended Books on Coping with a Sexless Marriage
- Escaping The Sexless Marriage: A Practical Manual to Bring Back Intimacy and Trust into a Passive Aggressive Marriage (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression)
- The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide
- Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage
- Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by Schnarch Ph.D., David 1st (first) 1st (first) Edition [Paperback(1998)]
The trouble is, even if you’re married or simply with someone for years it can still be hard to recognise the signs that they are cheating, but you will usually get the feeling that something is ‘going on’ just by noticing little things that are different in their attitude.
It won’t hurt to check them out, but do it in a non-obvious manner to avoid alerting them to your suspicions. If you are wrong then there is no harm done if they don’t find out.
Internet affairs happen too…
And now the ever-expanding internet has seen the rise of online affairs. Many people meet online to chat with strangers – often due to boredom in their current relationship. This often begins harmlessly but in countless cases it has developed into a full-blown emotional affair which can end up wrecking a relationship as surely as physical one.
There is a section at the end of the article on the new form of cheating – online affairs, which are also known as cyber-affairs.
Here are some telltale signs of a cheating spouse or partner.
You may find that many of these signs apply to you and cause you to suspect that your partner is indeed cheating on you. However, if you confront them with your suspicions before you have definite proof of their infidelity then you will tip them off too soon and they will start to be more careful in the future, making it harder to catch them cheating.
- Your cheating partner will be more attentive to you at the start of an affair due to the guilt that the cheater is feeling. Someone who is a serial cheater might not show this sign as they are emotionally immune to thoughts of guilt about their cheating.
- Once the affair has been going on for some time, and the guilt lessens, the cheater will start to find fault with you. This is an attempt to justify to themselves that what they are doing is not wrong because you are to blame in some way for making them look elsewhere.
- If the cheating spouse is a man, he will lose interest in you and your children if any, and stop doing general chores around the house such as mowing the lawn, repairs or decorating.
- Your sex life may change from the norm. You may have more sex, with your cheating partner asking you to try out new things, or your sex life may be reduced considerably as they are getting it elsewhere.
- Your cheating partner will behave differently towards everyone in the house especially you. If questioned about the way they are behaving they will try to put the blame on your behaviour for the way they are acting.
- Your cheating partner will be spending more money than usual because of his affair so it is a good idea to keep an eye on his financial statements to find out.
- You will notice that your cheating partner will pay more attention to their personal appearance such as the clothes they wear, their grooming habits and physical fitness.
What to look for to catch a cheating spouse or partner.
- Physical evidence can be checked to see if your partner is cheating on you. Look in their pockets or wallets for receipts, pieces of paper with phone numbers or addresses on, etc.
- Be alert to telephone calls where your cheating partner whispers or cuts the telephone call short if you are present. Also, be suspicious if you get phone calls where the caller hangs up on you. Cellular phones are a bit harder to check because the cheater will usually keep them close to them at all times.
- Pay as you go phones won’t have any billing information that you can check but contract phones will and you might be able to check for frequently called numbers. You could call some of these numbers to see who answers, but this can tip off your cheating spouse or partner so be very careful.
The Internet and Online Affairs
As mentioned earlier, the internet has seen the rise of online affairs, which often begin harmlessly, but can become emotional affairs and then sometimes develop into real physical love affairs. There have even been divorces caused by an online affair. These online affairs often begin in internet chat rooms where private messages can hide the developing emotional affair from prying eyes. Once these online affairs have become real, the previous tips on how to detect a cheat will apply.
Watch out for signs of cheating such as:
- Your partner spending a lot of time on their PC, in internet chat rooms, especially late at night.
- Your partner acting secretively when you walk into the room when they are on their PC.
- Your partner gets irritated and defensive when you say they are spending too much time on their PC.
- The computer is positioned so that you can’t easily see the monitor screen.
- They always seem to click quickly on something with the mouse when you walk in the room.
- They seem to be addicted to their PC and start to lose interest in you, the house and family.
- They want their own PC and don’t allow you to use it.
Computer Spy software
All these are danger signs of a possible emotional online affair, which could turn serious so beware. If you really are worried about a possible online affair then you can buy software to spy on a cheating spouse , which will secretly spy on everything anyone is doing on your PC for you to view later.
Once installed, they hide unseen on a PC and are virtually undetectable except by someone who is a computer expert, so there is very little chance that they will be found. With all the information that these programs record, you might be able to find out if your partner or spouse is cheating on you online. This information could even help to prevent a divorce due to an online affair by stopping it before it gets out of hand.
A word of warning though about using spy software…
Apart from ethical reasons, using computer surveillance software or similar spy software for the purpose to tracking a person’s internet activities without informing the intended target is considered illegal in many jurisdictions. So, before purchasing, you must check the legality of using any such software or service or you may be breaking the law.
Help For Overcoming An Affair
If your marriage is being hurt by an affair then “How To Survive an Affair” by marriage expert Dr. Frank Gunzburg is worth looking into. Another excellent program to help you get over an affair is Break Free From The Affair by Dr. Robert Huizenga.
I can recommend both of them highly.
Recommended Books on Marriage
- The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- One New Habit To Fix Your Marriage: 10 Simple Steps To Put The Joy And Intimacy Back In Your Marriage
- The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope