Sexless marriages are one of the most painful causes of divorce. A lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage is a common reason for a marriage to fail and finding a solution isn’t easy.
Sexless marriages caused by physical problems are often curable with medication, but a lack of sex caused by relationship problems is a sign of a failing marriage and may need the help of a marriage counselor or a therapist.
It is often women who get the blame for a sexless marriage and get called ‘frigid’, but what about men who stop having sex with their wives and why?
Recommended Books on Coping with a Sexless Marriage
- Escaping The Sexless Marriage: A Practical Manual to Bring Back Intimacy and Trust into a Passive Aggressive Marriage (The Complete Guide to Passive Aggression)
- The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido: A Couple's Guide
- Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage
- Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships by Schnarch Ph.D., David 1st (first) 1st (first) Edition [Paperback(1998)]
When a wife starts asking her husband why he doesn’t seem to want sex with her any more he will often come out with excuses like, “I’m too tired tonight,” “I’m too stressed to do it,” “It’s too late ” and other feeble excuses.
Men do have problems revealing their inner feelings so they usually prefer to hide the truth about why they don’t have sex with their wife any more. They also know that telling their wife the real reasons will bring everything else that is wrong with their marriage to the surface.
Reasons why a husband stops having sex with his wife.
He no longer finds his wife physically attractive
He doesn’t feel attracted to his wife because she has let herself go physically – usually by putting on lots of weight. Not just a little weight, which most men don’t mind because they generally like women who are curvy, but excessive weight of 70lbs or more.
For most men this can be quite off-putting, and a woman who allows herself to become extremely overweight can’t complain if her husband loses his passion for her in bed. He may still love her as a person but a man’s attitude towards physical love is a lot different. It may seem a shallow reason but if he has never been attracted to overweight women then he probably can’t help his feelings.
His lack of desire for his overweight wife will make it difficult to perform, the lovemaking will become unsatisfying for both of them, and eventually the marriage will become sexless.He will often keep his thoughts about her weight gain to himself to prevent upsetting her as most women are very self-conscious about their weight and will take great offence at any suggestion that they are getting too fat.
Of course, many men get seriously overweight too and their wives may not fancy sex with them so they only do so to keep a fragile peace. They won’t engage in love-making with much gusto though.
The husband is angry with his wife.
Think about it, do you like to make love with someone with whom you are angry? Some men are so angry and frustrated with their wife for one reason or another that avoiding sex with their wife becomes a weapon to be used against them.
He is angry because his wife treats him like dirt.
He might stop having sex with his wife because she is too controlling and critical of him. Constant criticism and nagging from his wife will erode at the husband’s self-esteem. He will feel deep resentment because of her insensitive behaviour and this will cause him to avoid sex with his wife in reprisal.
Continuous abuse and lack of respect from his wife might simply cause him to keep all his resentment bottled up inside, which can eventually cause depression.Taking antidepressants for his depression could have side effects such as loss of libido or dull his emotions and consequently his desire for sex with her.
He is angry because his wife is lazy and selfish.
Some men get angry with their wives because they are lazy and spoilt and do not contribute meaningfully to the marriage. These types of women are only interested in their own needs and give very little back emotionally so the husband will eventually do the same.
He is angry because his wife lies to him.
A husband may also stop having sex with his wife because she is deceitful and untruthful to him. She may lie about money and debts and create financial hardship with her feckless money management. Arguments about money problems are one of the main reasons for marriages ending.
Good marriages thrive on openness and honesty and when either a wife or husband constantly lies to their spouse about anything, it eats away at the foundation of the marriage. After all, if you can’t trust the person who is supposed to be your life partner then how can you respect and love them?
Time to get help for your sexless marriage
Any one of the non-medical reasons men stop having sex can cause him to avoid sexual intimacy with his wife. A sexless marriage due to relationship issues is usually a symptom of even bigger problems in your marriage. To tackle the problems in your marriage you really need to talk to a marriage counselor or therapist to find out the underlying reasons for why your marriage is now sexless.
Recommended Books on Marriage
- The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
- The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- One New Habit To Fix Your Marriage: 10 Simple Steps To Put The Joy And Intimacy Back In Your Marriage
- The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope